בס”ד

This blog is written as a summary of a class that was taught. It is highly recommended to watch the full class on YouTube.

The Power of Speech, Self-Awareness, and Purpose in Life

Revisiting the Creation Story

In the Jewish tradition, we read through the Torah in weekly portions, completing the entire text within a year. Just yesterday, we revisited the creation story—the story of how the world, and humanity, came into being.

On the sixth day, humanity was created. G-d took dust from the ground, formed a being, and breathed a living soul into it, transforming it into a living, speaking human. This moment, when physical matter is united with a spiritual soul, is extraordinary—it is the moment we become a “speaking spirit.”

Humans: The Speaking Spirit

The famous commentator Onkelos emphasizes that humans are unique because we can use speech to communicate, build, and connect in ways no other creature can. Our words have the power to uplift—but they can also hurt, often far more deeply than physical harm.

Lashon Hara and Self-Criticism

This brings us to an essential concept in Judaism: lashon hara, or negative speech. While speaking ill of others is prohibited, what about speaking ill of ourselves?

There’s a famous story that illustrates this beautifully. Rabbi Kagan, a great rabbi of his generation, was once traveling to a rabbis’ conference in a carriage with a young man. To pass the time, they spoke, and the young man mentioned wanting to meet Rabbi Kagan. To his shock, Rabbi Kagan said, “He’s not that great,” referring to himself. Outraged, the young man struck Rabbi Kagan across the face.

When they arrived, the townspeople celebrated Rabbi Kagan as a great sage. The young man immediately realized his mistake and apologized. Rabbi Kagan, however, calmly said, “You have taught me something very important: one should not speak badly about oneself.”

While there may not be a formal prohibition against self-criticism, constantly putting ourselves down can create a self-fulfilling prophecy—we become what we repeatedly tell ourselves we are.

Chesbon Hanefesh: Daily Self-Accounting

Instead, the Jewish ethical tradition encourages cheshbon hanefesh—self-accounting. Great sages have always devoted time to reflecting on their actions, evaluating whether they bring them closer to their purpose, and considering how to improve. This daily practice fosters awareness, guiding us to use our abilities in meaningful ways.

Discovering Your Purpose

Before we can assess our days, we must understand our purpose. Each of us is uniquely created, with distinct skills, traits, and abilities. By observing what we naturally enjoy and where our talents lie, we can identify the areas where we are meant to make an impact.

Think of it like a Roomba: by watching how it moves and cleans, we understand its purpose. Similarly, by examining ourselves, we uncover what we are truly here to achieve.

Life’s Challenges Are Gifts

However, life is not designed to be easy. G-d gives us obstacles—temptations, difficulties, and internal struggles—to help us grow. The creation story’s serpent symbolizes the challenges we all encounter—the internal voices and desires that attempt to divert us from our higher purpose. Overcoming these challenges is where true growth and achievement lie.

The Duality of Human Nature

Human nature is a blend of the animal and the angelic. Our physical urges are real and demanding, yet we also possess the ability to aspire to spiritual and moral greatness. Understanding this duality is essential. By exercising patience, reflection, and conscious choice, we can align our actions with long-term values rather than short-term impulses.

The Power of Pausing

One practical method to achieve this is simple but profound: pause. When we feel anger, frustration, or desire, even a brief moment of reflection can prevent harm. This pause allows the rational and spiritual part of ourselves to guide our actions, rather than reacting impulsively.

One famous rabbi even had an “anger coat”—he could only express anger while wearing it, ensuring a built-in pause for reflection.

Cultivating a Life of Purpose

The goal of these practices—self-accounting, reflection, and mindful speech—is to cultivate a life of purpose, connection, and meaning. We were created to overcome challenges, to use our unique gifts, and to engage with the world in a way that reflects both our human and spiritual capacities.

Using Your Gifts to Fulfill Your Potential

Each of us has the potential for greatness. By understanding our traits, skills, and abilities, and by consciously directing them toward meaningful goals, we fulfill our purpose. And by pausing, reflecting, and speaking wisely, we not only elevate ourselves but also positively impact the world around us.

Creating Space for Reflection

In a world full of distractions, daily self-reflection is more vital than ever. It is an opportunity to step back, assess our actions, and consciously choose how we live our lives. Our words, choices, and awareness of purpose can transform not just our lives, but the lives of everyone we touch.

Talk from Rabbi Menachem Salasnik


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