BEING A NOAHIDE IN THE DARK DAYS · Sukkat Shalom B'nei Noach

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Being a Noahide in the Dark Days: Chanukah, Christmas and New Year’s Eve

For many Noahides, the last months of the year are difficult. This is especially so when there are no other Noahides near you and your family and friends are celebrating. You can feel caught in between. Joining in with the Jewish holidays is often not logical for us. The celebrations of the people around you are not always something you can simply join either. How do you handle this well?

Chanukah: a message for everyone

Chanukah also falls in this season, and it has a universal message. In many places with a Jewish community, the Chanukah lights are kindled in public, and a speaker shares inspiring words. As a Ben Noah, you can take part in this.

You can also light a Chanukah menorah at home. Do not say the blessing (bracha) that Jews say when they do this, because we are not commanded to light the candles. During these days you can also say Psalm 30, for example, because this psalm is connected with Chanukah.

Christmas: a custom or idol worship?

For many families, Christmas is no longer a truly Christian holiday. It has become a tradition. Family comes together, often because people have time off, to eat together and enjoy each other’s company. The question for a Noahide is then: is this only a custom, or is there idol worship involved? The Divine Code gives clear guidelines about this.

About a Christmas tree in the home, it says:

“In private houses or businesses, it appears that they [the customary trees] are not forbidden for benefit if they bear no symbols of the religion, if they are used only as a custom and not as an aid in worshiping [the idol] with prayers or songs. They would certainly be permitted for benefit after being discarded (a clear act of nullification.)”

The Divine Code, 4th Edition, Part II, topic 8:10

So the question is whether anything of the religion is attached to it. A tree that is only a custom is different from a tree that is used to serve an idol.

Then there is the question of whether you may be present at the celebration itself. This can be hard, because your family may be angry if you do not come. About this it says:

“If one is afraid that others may be angry at him for not participating, or he is afraid of reprisals from the idol worshipers, it is permitted for him to attend and appear as if he is participating, for he is only flattering the idol worshiper, and does not attend out of any acceptance or recognition of the idol…

On a day that they celebrate by giving each other gifts that by their tradition are in honor of their idol, it is permitted to participate in this if it is considered by both parties (the giver and receiver) as only a custom, with no connection to the idol. But it would be better from the outset not to give gifts on that day…”

The Divine Code, 4th Edition, Part II, topic 10:2

Two things can be seen here. First, if both sides see the gift only as a custom, you may accept it. Second, it is better not to give gifts yourself on that day. This also answers a question that people often have: may I use a gift, or eat candy, that I received on that day? If it is only a custom with no connection to the idol, then according to this source there is no problem. Rabbi Moshe Weiner, the author of The Divine Code, also answered a question like this. He said that for non-Jews it is not sinful if it is only a secular social celebration, with no idol worship and no other forbidden behavior.

What about a family celebration at home? If it is practiced only out of custom, a Noahide may certainly attend. If some of the family members turn it into a religious service of idol worship, it is forbidden. If only a minority is busy with idol worship and the majority is not, you may attend, but only if refusing would lead to strife. What matters is what happens during the celebration. A short prayer to an idol before it begins counts for little. But continuous or frequent acts throughout the celebration that serve or praise the idol are forbidden, even if strife may occur. The same applies if the dominant spirit of the celebration is focused on the idol. This is found in The Divine Code, 4th Edition, Part II (The Prohibition of Idolatry), topic 2:3.

One last question is whether you may say the name of the holiday. This is not forbidden if you are simply referring to the holiday itself:

“ It is forbidden to mention the names of idols in a way of praise, honor or importance [but ordinary mention of an idol’s name is not forbidden by Torah Law, as is the opinion of Rambam, Laws of Idol Worship 5:10]…

Even though there is no prohibition in mentioning the name of an idol casually, it is unfitting that a person should make it his habit… Therefore, it is permitted to mention their names if there is a personal need for it and it is not in a respectful way…”

The Divine Code, 4th Edition, Part II, topics 12:3-4

We ourselves stopped with Christmas decorations years ago. The first years felt very bare. But with candles and string lights, you can also make your home very cozy in the dark days.

New Year’s Eve and the holidays themselves

With New Year’s Eve, it differs. If friends come to stay, we usually stay up and make it a pleasant evening. If we are home alone with the family, we do not make anything special of it. For many years we also went on vacation during the holidays, so that we did not have to have discussions with family.

In conclusion

In short: look at it case by case and situation by situation. Keep asking yourself whether it is only a custom and a pleasant time together, or whether idol worship is involved. And if you have doubts, ask a rabbi who knows the Noahide laws.

By Angelique Sijbolts

With thanks to Rabbi for the feedback

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