{"id":24626,"date":"2026-06-24T05:30:10","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T04:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sukkatshalom-bneinoach.com\/?p=24626"},"modified":"2026-06-24T05:41:37","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T04:41:37","slug":"the-power-of-words-part-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sukkatshalom-bneinoach.com\/fr\/the-power-of-words-part-8\/","title":{"rendered":"PRIDE AND THE HIDDEN PAIN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u05d1\u05e1 \"\u05d3<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"WORDS CHANGE WORLDS   PART 8 - Lashon Hara, Pride, and the Hidden Pain of Low Self-Esteem\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BtTW-aOeAUc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Ce blog r\u00e9sume un cours dispens\u00e9. Il est fortement recommand\u00e9 de visionner le cours complet sur YouTube.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Lashon Hara, Pride, and the Hidden Pain of Low Self-Esteem<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Why do we speak negatively about others? According to Jewish wisdom, the answer may have less to do with the person we&#8217;re talking about\u2014and far more to do with how we feel about ourselves.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Hidden Root of Lashon Hara<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we think of arrogance, we usually imagine someone who believes they are better than everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But what if arrogance is often the exact opposite?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What if the need to put others down comes not from genuine confidence, but from a deep sense of insecurity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In our generation, one of the greatest causes of <em>lashon hara<\/em>\u2014speaking negatively about others\u2014is low self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we feel inadequate, we often try to elevate ourselves by diminishing someone else. By pushing another person down in the eyes of the community, we create the illusion that we have risen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is not true confidence. It is projected confidence\u2014an attempt to cover a painful sense of worthlessness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In Hebrew, the word for pride or arrogance is <strong>ga&#8217;avah<\/strong> (\u05d2\u05d0\u05d5\u05d5\u05d4). Yet what often appears to be <em>ga&#8217;avah<\/em> is, in reality, a desperate search for validation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Purim Story Through the Lens of Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the most powerful examples of this dynamic appears in the story of Purim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Book of Esther takes place during the Persian Empire, after the destruction of the First Temple. The Jewish people are scattered throughout the kingdom ruled by King Ahasuerus, who appoints Haman as his chief advisor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Haman is remembered as one of the greatest villains in Jewish history. Yet beneath his hatred lies a profound psychological truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At first glance, Haman seems to have everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He is wealthy, powerful, influential, and respected. He enjoys the highest position in the empire, second only to the king himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wherever he goes, people bow down before him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Everyone bows\u2014except one man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mordechai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that single refusal destroys him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Five Words That Reveal Everything<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After being invited to a private banquet with the king and queen, Haman leaves the palace &#8220;joyful and glad of heart.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He is living a dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yet the moment he sees Mordechai refusing to bow, his joy evaporates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Later, Haman gathers his wife and closest friends and begins listing his accomplishments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He speaks about:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>his immense wealth;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>his many children;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>his high rank in the kingdom;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>the honour he receives;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>his invitation to another private banquet with the king and queen.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At first glance, this seems strange.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">His wife already knows these things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">His friends already know these things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why does he feel the need to repeat them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because Haman is searching for external validation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then he utters five devastating words:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;Yet all this is worth nothing to me whenever I see Mordechai the Jew sitting at the king&#8217;s gate.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think about what that means.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Millions honour him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One man refuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And suddenly, everything else loses its value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is not confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is low self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Addiction to Validation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People who struggle with low self-esteem often depend on external approval to feel worthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They need others to tell them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You are successful.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are attractive.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are intelligent.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You matter.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For a brief moment, these messages provide relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But the relief never lasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Validation functions like a drug: its effects fade quickly, requiring ever-increasing doses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another compliment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another achievement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another promotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another social media post.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another round of applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The problem is that external praise cannot heal an internal wound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If someone secretly believes they are worthless, then no amount of admiration will ever be enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yet a single criticism can undo everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pourquoi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because criticism resonates with the painful story they already tell themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Social Media and the Search for Worth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This dynamic is everywhere in modern life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone spends twenty minutes taking the perfect photo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They adjust the lighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They change the angle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They edit the image.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Finally, they post it online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then they wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first notification appears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone liked the photo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instant relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For a moment, they feel valuable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For a moment, they feel enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But what happens when one negative comment appears?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Suddenly, hundreds of positive reactions fade into the background.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The mind fixates on the criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not because it is objectively more important, but because it confirms an existing fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The compliment feels temporary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The criticism feels true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why We Speak Badly About Others<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of the time, we do not speak negatively about others because they threaten us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We do it because they threaten the fragile story we tell ourselves about who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone else&#8217;s success reminds us of our insecurities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone else&#8217;s confidence exposes our self-doubt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone else&#8217;s recognition confronts us with our fear of being insignificant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And so we attempt to pull them down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If they become smaller, perhaps we can feel bigger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But the relief never lasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because the real problem was never the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The problem lies within us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Finding the Haman Within<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The purpose of the Tanakh is not simply to tell stories about historical figures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is meant to teach us something about ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every character acts as a mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Haman is not included in the story merely to show us evil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He is there to help us recognise the part of ourselves that seeks validation, craves recognition, and fears rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of us are not Haman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yet many of us understand what it feels like to rely too heavily on the approval of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We know what it feels like to compare ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We know what it feels like to seek affirmation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We know what it feels like to be deeply wounded by criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The challenge is not to condemn ourselves for these feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The challenge is to recognise them honestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because only when we understand the pain beneath <em>lashon hara<\/em> can we begin to heal it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Opposite of Pride<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The opposite of destructive pride is not self-hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is healthy humility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">True humility is not thinking less of yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is knowing your worth without needing to prove it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is understanding that your value does not depend on status, achievement, applause, compliments, followers, or comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we no longer need others to make us feel worthy, we no longer need to diminish them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that is where healing begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Key Terms<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Lashon hara (\u05dc\u05e9\u05d5\u05df \u05d4\u05e8\u05e2):<\/strong> harmful or negative speech about another person.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Ga&#8217;avah (\u05d2\u05d0\u05d5\u05d5\u05d4):<\/strong> pride, arrogance, or inflated self-importance.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Anavah (\u05e2\u05e0\u05d5\u05d5\u05d4):<\/strong> humility grounded in self-awareness and inner worth.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">True self-worth does not require us to stand above others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It allows us to stand alongside them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">T<strong>alk du rabbin Menachem Salasnik<\/strong><br><br><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00a9 Copyright, tous droits r\u00e9serv\u00e9s. Si vous avez appr\u00e9ci\u00e9 cet article, nous vous encourageons \u00e0 le diffuser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nos blogs peuvent contenir du texte, des citations, des r\u00e9f\u00e9rences ou des liens qui comprennent des \u00e9l\u00e9ments prot\u00e9g\u00e9s par le droit d'auteur de <a href=\"https:\/\/mechon-mamre.org\/index.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mechon-Mamre.org<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/aish.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Aish.com<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sefaria.org\/texts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Sefaria.org<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.chabad.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Chabad.org<\/a>et\/ou <a href=\"https:\/\/asknoah.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">AskNoah.org<\/a>que nous utilisons conform\u00e9ment \u00e0 leurs politiques.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u05d1\u05e1&#8221;\u05d3 This blog is written as a summary of a class that was taught. It is highly recommended to watch the full class on YouTube. Lashon Hara, Pride, and the Hidden Pain of Low Self-Esteem Why do we speak negatively about others? According to Jewish wisdom, the answer may have less to do with the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":24627,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"[]"},"categories":[10,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holidays-remembrance-days","category-words-change-worlds"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>PRIDE AND THE HIDDEN PAIN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM - Sukkat Shalom B&#039;nei Noach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The opposite of destructive pride is not self-hatred.It is healthy humility.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sukkatshalom-bneinoach.com\/fr\/the-power-of-words-part-8\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"PRIDE AND THE HIDDEN PAIN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM - 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