בס”ד
Pirkei Avot 1:6
Joshua ben Perachiah and Nittai of Arbela received [the tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perachiah says: Make for yourself a rabbi, acquire for yourself a friend, and judge every person favorably.¹
What Does This Teach Us?
1. Make for yourself a rabbi
Rashi is very brief about this Mishnah. He explains that you should not learn Torah solely from your own reasoning, but from a rabbi and from the received tradition.² You can certainly think, ask questions, and reason for yourself, but your learning should not rest entirely on your own conclusions. You need someone who knows the tradition and can help you understand how the Jewish tradition has received and interpreted its texts.
Bartenura brings in the Rambam, who explains why the text says to “make” someone your teacher: even if he is not really fit to be your teacher, you should make him your teacher and not learn on your own. In other words, do not wait for a perfect teacher.³ Bartenura then adds a second explanation that he heard: take on one teacher and always learn from him, rather than learning from one today and another tomorrow. He reconciles this with Avodah Zara 19, which says that one who learns from only one teacher will not see a sign of blessing. That applies to reasoning, where it is good to hear the views of many, but for memorizing traditional teachings it is better to learn from one teacher, so that the student’s elocution is not damaged.⁴
The Rambam himself adds another angle in his commentary. Self-study is good, but learning from another person is clearer and lasts longer, even if that person is your equal or below you in wisdom.⁵ Another commentary on this mishnah looks at a different point: the quality of the teacher. It explains that you should choose a teacher who is able to pass on the tradition correctly, so that you do not make mistakes in your learning. It also says you must be willing to accept his guidance, because you can only learn from someone whose knowledge you are ready to respect.⁶
The Alshich looks at a concrete situation. If you are studying in a house of study with many other students and find that you are not succeeding, provide yourself with a rabbi who can instruct you privately.⁷
2. Acquire for yourself a friend
At first we think of a friend of flesh and blood, but Rashi notes that here you can just as well think of books. Books can be your friends because they allow you to learn and grow in Torah knowledge. Rashi then gives another interpretation: a real friend. The reason is simple: two are better than one.⁸
Still, “acquire a friend” will make most of us think of a real person, someone with whom we can learn. Bartenura says that you should acquire this friend even if it costs you a large sum, and that you should spend money on him in order to win his love. That is how much a true friend is worth.⁹
The Rambam notes that the Mishnah says “acquire,” not “make” or “join.” One needs to acquire a friend so that he will rectify his deeds and affairs through him, as the Sages said: “a friend or death” (Taanit 23a). If one cannot find such a friend, he must make a great effort to find one.¹⁰ The value of a study partner lies in mutual interaction. According to Meorei Ohr, quoting Rabbeinu Yedaya HaPenini, one is often embarrassed to ask the rabbi every question, but not a friend, and so two friends can ask each other, clarify the halacha, and sharpen each other.¹¹
3. Judge every person favorably
This is where the Alshich gives his answer. Precisely the person who learns with a friend must learn to judge everyone favorably. So be careful about speaking about other people, for example when you use someone as an example during your study of how not to act.¹²
At first glance this seems like the easiest instruction, but the commentaries turn it into precision work. Rashi explains that when you hear something about another person and his intentions are unclear, you should assume that he intended it for good until you know with certainty that this is not so.¹³ This is not the same as ignoring wrongdoing or pretending that something harmful did not happen. It means that when the facts or intentions are uncertain, you should not immediately choose the negative interpretation.
Rashi adds a beautiful incentive: if you judge others favorably, Heaven will do the same with you.¹⁴
The Alshich shows that teacher, friend, and judgment are not separate pieces of advice but a chain: a rabbi gives you direction, a friend keeps you sharp, and the benefit of the doubt ensures that friendship and conversation are not clouded by lashon hara.¹⁵
A Noahide Perspective
Pirkei Avot speaks within the framework of Jewish Torah learning, so this Mishnah was not originally written as a specific guide for Noahides. But its principles can still be meaningfully applied by a Noahide who wants to learn from the Jewish tradition.
Make for yourself a rabbi. There are many internet and YouTube rabbis who want to teach Noahides, or teach about them. It is understandable to explore at first, and it is important to examine which Orthodox rabbis have genuinely studied the Seven Laws of Noah and their application to Noahides, so that they can provide reliable, Torah-based guidance. But the Mishnah says to “make” a rabbi, which is something you do actively. As the Rambam teaches, do not wait for a perfect teacher, and Bartenura adds that one should take on one teacher and learn from him consistently, rather than learning from one today and another tomorrow.¹⁶ This does not mean shutting out other views, since Bartenura notes that hearing many opinions is good for reasoning. It means having one rabbi as your steady point of reference.
It is wise for a Noahide to join a Noahide community, physical or online, so that he can connect with a regular rabbi with whom he feels safe and with whom he can learn personally. A rabbi who knows you personally, and before whom you feel safe enough to be honest, can give you guidance that is tailored to your own spiritual path. At Sukkat Shalom, we have regular rabbis with whom you can learn.
Acquire for yourself a friend. It is also important to learn together with a regular friend or a fixed group of friends. It teaches you to answer questions and to dig deeper into matters. In short, it makes you think and ensures that you grow more and more, and it can make it easier to explain your understanding to people with less knowledge of the subject. At Sukkat Shalom, we have our own discussion meetings as a group, where we sharpen each other. Of course, questions that you and your friends cannot resolve should be brought to your rabbi.
Judge every person favorably. We must always be alert to lashon hara when we speak with people. It is so easy to talk about people instead of talking with people. It is important, for Noahides as well, to be aware of this in their general conversations, and certainly in their study conversations.
From Sinai to Everyday Life
Pirkei Avot begins with the transmission of Torah from Sinai, from one generation to the next. Joshua ben Perachiah now turns that tradition into three practical instructions: find a teacher, acquire a friend, and judge others favorably.
Find your teacher. Choose a rabbi you can learn from and trust, and stay with him rather than switching from one to another. Learn with him regularly, and bring difficult questions to him rather than relying only on your own reasoning.
Acquire your friend. Set a regular time to learn together, even if it is only once a week, and make the effort to keep it. Ask questions, challenge each other’s understanding, and help each other think more deeply. If you cannot find a friend to learn with, Rashi reminds us that books can also be our friends.
Judge favorably. When you hear something about someone and you do not know his intentions, do not immediately assume the worst. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and be careful not to turn your conversations into lashon hara.
That is how this ancient teaching becomes part of everyday life: learn from your teacher, grow with your friend, and speak about others with goodwill.
Angelique Sijbolts
With thanks to Rabbi Tani Burton for the feedback
Notes
¹ Pirkei Avot 1:6.
² Rashi on Avot 1:6, s.v. Aseh lekha rav (“Make for yourself a rabbi”).
³ Bartenura on Avot 1:6, s.v. Aseh lekha rav, quoting the Rambam.
⁴ Bartenura on Avot 1:6, s.v. Aseh lekha rav, with reference to Avodah Zara 19.
⁵ Rambam, Commentary on the Mishnah, Avot 1:6, on “Make for yourself a rabbi.” See Sefaria, “Rambam on Pirkei Avot 1:6.”
⁶ Pirkei Avot – The ArtScroll Mesorah Series t 1:6 p.10.
⁷ Alshich on Avos Feldheim edition 1:6 p. 43
⁸ Rashi on Avot 1:6, s.v. U-kneh lekha chaver (“Acquire for yourself a friend”).
⁹ Bartenura on Avot 1:6, s.v. U-kneh lekha chaver
¹⁰ Rambam, Commentary on the Mishnah, Avot 1:6, on “Acquire for yourself a friend.” See Sefaria, “Rambam on Pirkei Avot 1:6.”
¹¹ Meorei Ohr, in the name of Rabbeinu Yedaya HaPenini, on Avot 1:6, as quoted in the Pirkei Avot edition with commentaries on dafyomi.co.il (Chapter 1, Mishna 6).
¹² Alshich on Avos Feldheim edition 1:6 p.45.
¹³ Rashi on Avot 1:6, s.v. Ve-hevei dan et kol ha-adam le-chaf zechut (“Judge every person favorably”).
¹⁴ Rashi, ibid., referring to Perek Mefanin (Shabbat 127b).
¹⁵ Alshich on Avos Feldheim edition 1:6 p. 45
¹⁶ See notes 3 to 5 above.
Sources
[1] Bartenura on Pirkei Avot 1:5.
[2] Rashi on Pirkei Avot 1:5, referring to 1 Kings 2:34 and Job 31:17.
[3] Rambam on Pirkei Avot 1:5.
[4] Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch, Pirkei Avot, pp. 15–16.
[5] Pirkei Avot — The ArtScroll Mesorah Series, p. 10.
[6] AskNoah Q&A Forum, Ask The Academy Rabbis, Intimate Relations, thread “Male/female shaking hands, friendshiips, etc.” (the title is spelled like this on the site). Links: https://www.asknoah.org/forum/showthread.php?tid=256 (page 1) and https://www.asknoah.org/forum/showthread.php?tid=256&page=2 (page 2).
[7] AskNoah, same thread, page 1: answer by Director Michael of 28 April 2009 (post #3), in which he passes on the answers of Rabbi Moshe Weiner, author of The Divine Code, and his clarification of 1 May 2009 (post #5).
[8] AskNoah, same thread, page 2: answer by Director Michael of 20 April 2013 (post #11).
[9] AskNoah, same thread, page 2: answer by Director Michael of 12 November 2015 (post #15), in reply to the question about shomer negiah (post #14).
[10] AskNoah, same thread, page 2: answer by Director Michael of 1 June 2016 (post #17).
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