JETHRO, HIS DAUGTHERS, AND THE LESSON OF MODESTY FOR NOAHIDES

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UN PENSIERO SU PARSHAT YITRO 5786

The story of Jethro, the priest of Midian, and his seven daughters provides insight into responsibility, modesty, and ethical behavior, values also relevant for Noahides.

Jethro: a man of ethical choices

Jethro was a priest of Midian who abandoned idolatry (Exodus 18:1-12). As a result, he was ostracized by his community. He was prominent, yet socially isolated, and his daughters had to care for the family’s livestock themselves. This illustrates that choosing ethical behavior often comes at a price: social rejection or added responsibility. For Noahides, it shows that upholding moral principles, such as avoiding idolatry or immoral behavior, sometimes requires personal sacrifice.However, even though there might be a cost, the reward from G-d would be much greater.

The daughters of Jethro: responsible and modest

Jethro’s daughters went daily to the well to tend to their father’s livestock. On the day Moses met them, they arrived at the well before the Midianite shepherds, who tried to drive them away (Exodus 2:16-19). Moses intervened, protected them, and ensured their livestock could drink.

Commentators such as Alshekh (R. Moshe Alshekh, commentary on Exodus 2:16-19) emphasize that the daughters’ behavior exemplified modesty: they spoke minimally with one another or with Moses and acted with purpose. Their modesty was evident in their work ethic and the way they interacted with a stranger. This demonstrates that modesty is not only about clothing but also about demeanor and interpersonal conduct. A proof for that can be brought from the fact that their father urged them to invite the one who saved them but they did not do it from their own.

Modesty: a principle for Noahides

Modesty for Noahides is a developing area of practice. The guidance below is derived from classical Jewish sources and contemporary interpretations, providing general principles rather than strict law. Inspired by Jethro’s daughters, modesty involves a balance of inner attitude, outward behavior, and appearance, reflecting respect for G-d and humanity.

For Women:

• Clothing: Cover the torso (high neckline), arms (beyond elbows), and legs (beyond knees). Avoid tight or attention-grabbing clothing. Dresses or skirts that are modest at both top and bottom are ideal.
  
• Behavior: Posture, gestures, and speech contribute to modesty. Even fully covered clothing can be immodest if behavior is provocative.
  
• Hair covering: Married women are not required to cover hair, but doing so is a pious practice that demonstrates additional modesty and conscientiousness.
  
• Activity adaptations: During activities such as swimming or ballet, clothing can be adapted while maintaining modesty.
  
• Social context: Clothing and behavior should respect cultural norms, showing deference to both G-d and society.
  

For Men:

• Clothing: Short sleeves and pants ending just above the knee are acceptable, as seen in the garments of Jewish priests (Exodus 28:42-43).
  
• Behavior: Modesty primarily concerns respectful conduct and reverence for G-d. Shirtless attire at home may be acceptable, but conscious modesty is encouraged during prayer or study.
  
• General principle: Men’s standards for clothing are less strict than women’s, but modest behavior is essential.
  

General Principles:

• Modesty encompasses appearance, behavior, and attitude.
  
• Adjust clothing and conduct according to social and cultural context.
• The goal is to respect oneself, others, and G-d, and avoid causing others to sinful thoughts or actions.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe on the Power of Modesty    

In modern society, modesty is often misunderstood as a way to hide or diminish a woman. However, the Lubavitcher Rebbe taught exactly the opposite: Modesty is the most effective tool for revealing a woman’s true essence and greatness.

When a woman focuses on highlighting their physical appearance through immodest dress or behavior, they unintentionally create a “distraction.” By emphasizing the physical, they signal to the world that their most important attribute is their body. This actually narrows the person’s identity.

A modest woman, through her dignified conduct and dress, creates a respectful space around herself. By choosing not to use her physical self as a tool for attention, she compels those around her to meet her personality.

Modesty sends a clear message to the environment: “There is much more to me than what meets the eye.” In this sense, modesty does not hide the woman; it acts as a spotlight that directs attention to her highest qualities.

A modest woman refuses to be treated as an object for display and demands to be respected as a Divine creation (and in fact she is). Modesty reflects and highlights more virtues than immodesty ever could. A modest woman radiates a confidence that comes from her soul, not from a need for superficial approval.

Modesty is a woman’s way of maintaining her sovereignty. She sets the rules for how the world perceives her. By choosing modesty, she educates the world to see her as she truly is: a complete Divine masterpiece whose body is a respectful home for a great and holy soul.

5. Summary

The story of Jethro and his daughters demonstrates that:

1. Ethical choices often require personal sacrifice.
   
2. Responsibility and initiative naturally align with modest behavior.
3. True modesty combines inner humility with respectful appearance and conduct.

Di Angelique Sijbolts
With thanks to Rabbi Moshe Bernstein and Rabbi Tani Burton for the feedback

Fonti:

AskNoah forum about modesty

Torah: Exodus 2:16-19; 18:1-12; 28:42-43

R. Moshe Alshekh, Commentary on Exodus

Mishnah Berurah on modesty (75:1)

General principles of Noahide conduct: Sefer HaChinuch, mitzvot 1-7

Igrot Kodesh Vol. 26 page 324-326

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