בס”ד
Toldot (Genesis 25:19-28:9 )
Bereishit, 28:8-9: “And Esau saw that the Canaanite daughters [that he had married] were wicked in the eyes of his father Yitzchak. And Esau went to Yishmael and he took Machalat the daughter of Yishmael, the son of Avraham, sister of Nevayot, as well as his wives, for a wife.”
Rashi, Bereishit, 28:9: Dh: As well as his wives: “He added wickedness on his wickedness, as he did not divorce the first wives.”
The end of this week’s Torah portion relates that Yitzchak instructed his son, Yaakov, to go to Padan Aram to marry a daughter of Lavan. Yitzchak’s other son, Esau, had already married Canaanite women who were idol-worshippers. Esau saw from the fact that Yitzchak instructed Yaakov not to marry Canaanite women and to marry a woman from their family, that Esau’s prior marriages caused Yitzchak pain. Accordingly, Esau decided to also marry a woman from their family, turning to the daughter of Yitzchak’s brother, Yishmael.
However, the Torah alludes to the fact that Esau did not divorce his original wives, rather he simply took another wife. Rashi comments that Esau did not improve the situation here because he did not divorce his first wives, in fact he actually made things worse. In Rashi’s words, he “added wickedness on his original wickedness by marrying another woman.”
The question arises as to why does Rashi say that Esau added to his wickedness by marrying another woman. It would have seemed more accurate to say that Esau did not improve the situation by marrying another woman because he did not address the main issue – that he had married wicked women in the first place. However, the words of Rashi that he “added wickedness” indicates that he actually made things worse by marrying this additional woman – in what way did he ‘add on’ to his wickedness?1
It is possible to answer that Esau did in fact deteriorate even further by marrying an additional woman without divorcing the first wives. Up to the point that he realized that Yitzchak was unhappy with his choice of wives, Esau could at least be viewed as somewhat unaware of the wickedness of his marriages. However, once he recognized that Yitzchak was upset with this, he should have immediately divorced his wives as well as marrying a wife from the family. Yet, he did not do this, and instead assuaged his feelings of guilt by marrying a daughter of Yishmael, thereby rationalizing that he had done his father’s will, even though he conveniently ignored that his wicked wives were the main cause of Yitzchak’s disapproval and he continued being married to them. In this sense, he added to his wicked behavior because before he recognized his wrongdoing, he could claim to be a kind of shogeg (careless sinner)2 but now he justified his behavior by marrying a new wife.
The SifTei Chaim3 describes this as an expression of a fundamental part of Esau’s flawed character – his dishonesty. He tricked his father into believing that he is righteous by asking halachic questions that seemed to indicate his yiras Shamayim, but his righteousness was only skin-deep. That is why he is compare to the pig who shows his cloven hoof to demonstrate its kosher status, yet on the inside, it is totally non-kosher. Moreover, Esau even tricked himself into believing that he was righteous by such external actions as marrying a daughter from Yishmael, while totally ignoring the true reason to marry a wife from Yitchak’s family.
However, another question arises with regard to Esau’s disregard of his father’s will. The Midrash4 teaches that the one Mitzva that Esau excelled in was the Torah commandment of honoring his father. Rabbi Shimon Ben Gamliel stated that he honored his father but he did not reach one in a hundred the amount that Esau honored his father. Accordingly, how could Esau so blatantly ignore Yitzchak’s desire that he divorce his wives? The Ramban5 briefly addresses this question. He writes: “Moreover, It [the Verse] mentions that he took her as well as his other wives, and he did not divorce the wicked wives, because he went after his physical desires more than his father’s will.” The Ramban is teaching us that even though Esau had a strong leaning to honor his father, this was overridden by his even stronger lust for women.
We learn from here a fundamental idea – that even if a person excels in certain areas in the spiritual realm, if he does not control his physical desires, then they will severely hinder his ability to do G-d’s will. It seems that the root of Esau’s filing is that he did not have enough G-d awareness because if a person has a genuine fear of sinning, then he can attain great levels of self-control.
This idea is demonstrated by the following story. A religious man was struggling with being unhealthily overweight and he joined a group where people would encourage each other in their efforts to be healthier and lose weight. On one occasion, the man told the group that he was about to face a very big test as he would be in the vicinity of a delicious, milchig cake which he had a great desire to eat. The people in the group gave him various suggestions to help him overcome this test. The next time they met, he proudly related that he succeeded in not eating the cake. His fellows thought it was because of their suggestions but he said that they didn’t help. How did he manage to refrain from the delicious cake? At the moment that he had a very strong desire to eat from it, instead he opened his fridge and at a sliver of meat. This meant that he could not eat milk for six hours, and he now easily managed to refrain from the cake, as he would never eat milk soon after eating meat. This story demonstrates how true G-d awareness can enable a person to overcome even the strongest temptations.
By Rabbi Yehonasan Gefen
Notes:
A possible answer is based on the Ramban (Bereishit, 28:5) who notes that Esav should have learnt from Yitzchak’s instruction to Yaakov, to go davke to the daughters of Lavan and not to Yishmael’s daughter. Some commentaries add that his new wife was also wicked like the prior wives. A different approach is given above.
- Even though it should have been obvious that he should not marry idol worshipping Canaanite women.
- Sifsei Chaim al HaTorah, Bereishis, p.280.
- Bereishis Rabbah, Parsha 65, Piska 16.
- Ramban Al HaTorah, 28:5.
WEEKLY TORAH PORTION,
The Guiding Light
by Rabbi Yehonasan Gefen
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