בס”ד
A THOUGHT ABOUT PARSHAT VAYISHLACH 5785
3 And he (Jacob) himself passed over before them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. (Esav) | ג וְהוּא, עָבַר לִפְנֵיהֶם; וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ אַרְצָה שֶׁבַע פְּעָמִים, עַד-גִּשְׁתּוֹ עַד-אָחִיו. |
At first glance, the text seems to suggest that Jacob bowed seven times to Esau, but isn’t a person supposed to bow only to G-d? And why seven times—wouldn’t once, twice, or three times have been more than enough?
In Exodus 18:7 we read:
7 And Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, and bowed down and kissed him; and they asked each other of their welfare; and they came into the tent. | ז וַיֵּצֵא מֹשֶׁה לִקְרַאת חֹתְנוֹ, וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ וַיִּשַּׁק-לוֹ, וַיִּשְׁאֲלוּ אִישׁ-לְרֵעֵהוּ, לְשָׁלוֹם; וַיָּבֹאוּ, הָאֹהֱלָה. |
We see that Moses bowed to his father-in-law, and from this, we learn that it is permissible to bow to a person as a form of greeting, provided it is customary in that culture. However, this is not allowed if someone has declared themselves a deity or if the bow is intended to honor a spirit within a person as an idol, with the intent of worshipping that idol. Rambam, however, holds that it is permitted to bow out of fear for a person, when the bowing is solely out of fear and not out of any intention to revere them (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Worship of Stars [and Idols] 3:6).
Whether Jacob bowed out of courtesy, in line with cultural norms (see Samuel I 20:41 and Steinsaltz) or out of fear—since we know Jacob was afraid (Genesis 32:12 )- —it was, in any case, not wrong for him to do so. Yet it still seems unusual for someone as holy as Jacob to bow to a human, and the Zohar1 thus teaches that Jacob did not bow to Esau, but rather to G-d (Netivot Shalom p. 362). Esau, however, believed that the bow was meant for him. In the humility Jacob showed—believed by Esau to be directed toward himself—Esau saw no reason to hold Jacob in reverence or to oppose him, which made Esau haughty once again.
The humility Jacob displayed was, however, directed toward G-d, asking for His help against Esau. This is remarkable in itself, given that G-d had already promised him protection, and someone as great as Jacob would surely have enough trust in G-d to know that He fulfills His promises (Genesis 28:15).Genesis 28:15). Netivot Shalom2 explains that Jacob knew G-d would physically save him from Esau, but he was afraid of the spiritual force Esau represented—the evil inclination, or Yetzer HaRa in Hebrew.
This evil inclination draws a person toward materialism and selfishness, leading to a lack of discipline, conflict, and war, and ultimately distances them from G-d and from the way one should live on earth. As the image of G-d, as Tzelem Elokim, a person stands for spirituality, kindness, discipline, peace, and harmony.
We see that before Jacob approaches Esau, he prepares himself in three ways—three methods by which a person can protect themselves from the evil inclination: Doron, tefillah, u’milchamah – namely, gifts, prayer, and (preparing for) battle. These three actions are important for everyone in the struggle against the evil inclination.
Doron – Gifts
This can be understood as Tzedakah (charity), a tool for self-refinement, as described in
and break off thy sins by almsgiving, | וחטיך וַחֲטָאָךְ בְּצִדְקָה פְרֻק |
Giving Tzedakah not only helps to calm your own anger, but it can also calm the anger of others. By practicing self-love and doing good, you can find inner peace, and this can even have an effect on those around you. This process of self-refinement can be seen in anger management, both in yourself and in others (Likutey Halachot VIII, p. 191b).
Tefillah – Prayer
Prayer is a tool for sins that can befall us without our will. Think, for example, of what your eyes may see; whether you like it or not, you can witness things that are not good. Certainly, in our modern society, where modesty is often lacking, and we are surrounded by visual images on TV, YouTube, etc.
37 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity, and quicken me in Thy ways. | לז הַעֲבֵר עֵינַי, מֵרְאוֹת שָׁוְא; בִּדְרָכֶךָ חַיֵּנִי. |
U’milchamah – (Preparing for) Battle
The Saba Kadisha of Slonim zt”l3 points out that a person should perform at least one action each day where they actively suppress their evil inclination, even in matters that are permissible. For example, try to control yourself if you want a second cookie, or if you’re tempted to have a third glass of wine after already having two. Pick up the phone to call someone and ask how they’re doing, even if you don’t feel obligated and don’t really feel like it. By resisting the evil inclination in these small daily acts, you will also be stronger when it tries to lead you to do things you truly don’t want to do.
After Jacob performed the three actions mentioned above, he bowed down to G-d, fully submitting himself to G-d. Although we can prepare ourselves well against the attack of the evil inclination, we still need G-d’s help to completely overcome it. This explains Jacob’s bowing, but it still does not answer the question of why he bowed seven times.The Sages explain that Esau had seven impure elements within him. Each time Jacob bowed before G-d, one of these impure elements was purified. Through this, Esau was cleansed and able to return to goodness. We can see in the continuation of the story that Esau embraces Jacob in goodness.
By Angelique Sijbolts
With thanks to Rabbi Tuvia Serber for his feedback
Sources
- Zohar part 2, 171b ↩︎
- Netivot Sholom, the Seidenfeld edition parshat Vayishlach ↩︎
- Nesivos Sholom p. 361 ↩︎
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